Hay..

Year-end survey (thanks Ala for the survey!)

What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?

Break free, thesis, kumanta in front of many people (Gbox)

Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Uhhh I don't think so. I'm still naughty eh! Hehehe. :) But I'm better this year.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

None. :)

Did anyone close to you die?

Thank God wala. :D

What countries did you visit?

None. Next year hopefully! :D

What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?

More willpower and some fashion sense!

What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

August 06. It was supposed to be our 1st anniversarry, but things didn't go well with our relationship. I still consider this date special because it reminds me of the things we went through as boyfriend-girlfriend then as bestfriends. :) (aww budsie jus! dami nating pinag-awayan this year, dami na ding times na nagbbye ako sa yo. we almost gave up on our friendship, pero here we are... still friends and I thank God for that. thanks for being there everytime I needed someone to talk to. drama! hehe. hope we'll still be friends for like.. forever! mwah!)

Out-of-town trips with my family.

Field trips with batchmates.

Christmas party with blockmates!

When I first set foot at Star City with my classmates in Histology (last summer)

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Conquered my fear of riding a roller coaster.

What was your biggest failure?

Poor self-image. Sobrang conscious. Not being there for that person when he needed me the most. :(

Did you suffer illness or injury?

I've incurred alot of injuries this year. Pants ripped by pesky taxi bumper.. Pilay. Hay!
Fever, colds, headache but no major illness.

What was the best thing you bought?

Magic wallet, laptop and mp3 player

Whose behavior merited celebration?

My mom! She went through a lot this year and she still manages to smile.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

GMA. "Hello Garci?!"

Where did most of your money go?

Same. Food, movies, transpo and photocopies.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

There were alot of things that got me soo excited. Hehe..

Out-of-town trips!

What song(s) will always remind you of 2005?

Akap by Imago.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? -- happier. :D
ii. thinner or fatter? -- the scale reads the same. :((
iii. richer or poorer? -- poooorer. :'(

What do you wish you'd done more?

Love myself more. Narcissism!

What do you wish you'd done less of?

Bein a drama queen. Nag.

How many one-night stands?

None. :)

What was your favorite TV program?

CSI: Las Vegas, House, Scrubs and Medical Investigators

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Yeah. I do! Bad girl! :(

What was the best book you read?

Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coehlo.
Essentials of Microbiology by Gerard Tortora. (seriously)

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Gwen Stefani. That chic rocks!

What did you want and get?

Inner peace and self-confidence (during the latter part of the year)

What was your favorite film of this year?

Ju-On. Haha. Seriously, The Village by M. Night Shaymalan.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 19 this year. I celebrated it with my family. Simple celeb. :)

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I don't know. All the things I did sort-of added up to make this year more satisfying than last year.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?

Simply me.

What kept you sane?

Occasional out-of-town trips and friends, of course. :)

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Jude Law and that guy from Goal.

What political issue stirred you the most?

Hello Garci??

Who did you miss?

My blockmates! Aww.. :(

Who was the best new person you met?

Hmm.. My other batchmates. We really bonded with each other esp. during the biogyugan. :)

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:

1. Learn to love yourself.
2. Being comitted is not the only thing that will make you happy.
3. Patience is a virtue.

What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:

Maganda ako sabi nila. Hahahaha.

Ala. Sabi ni bud dati sa akin na I'd be a perfect wife dahil i'm responsible at marunong sa buhay. Ni-treasure ko yun hanggang ngayon. :)

the most touching experience you've had this year?

I was riding the bus home when bud texted me this: "Wag ka ng umiyak. Kaya mo yan. Kaw pa." I was really feeling bad that morning because my mom won't let me push through with my application to UST and she refused to give me the processing fee (for med application). I was really holding back the tears that time. Hay. Thanks bud for being there. c",)

What did you like most about yourself this year?

The courage to break free. :)

What did you hate most about yourself this year?

Yung mga hindi pinag-isipang decisions.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"It's my life and it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever..." - It's My Life by Bon Jovi

Was 2005 a good year for you?

Yeah. This year made stronger and more mature. :)

What was your favorite moment of the year?

Every night, when I just lay down on my bed and think of all the things that happened to me during the day.

What was your least favorite moment of the year?

Toxicity sa school --> deprived me of my precious precious sleep. :(

Where were you when 2005 began?

Las Pinas. :)

Who were you with?

My family. :D

Where will you be when 2005 ends?

Bahay ulit. :( I wish I'd be at some party for a change. :D

Who will you be with when 2005 ends?

My family. :D

Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?

Exert more effort sa acads and have a real social life for cryin' out loud. :D

What was your favorite month of 2005?

January, December and April.

Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?

Lose as in die? No. :)

Did you miss anybody in the past year?

Yef. My best bud steph!

What was your favorite record from 2005?

Love.Angel.Music.Baby syempre. :)

How many concerts did you see in 2005?

3. Puro dance concert. :)

Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2005?

No. I'm not allowed to be drunk. Baaaahh!

do a lot of drugs in 2005?

Vitamins are considered drugs? yef. I drink em everyday.

you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

Oh wow. You don't know me. Hahaha.

How much money did you spend in 2005?

Lots.

What was your proudest moment of 2005?

Uhh.. None that I can remember. Our batch won 2nd place sa biogyugan!

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?

Now why do you wanna know?

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be?

Don't start me with that "if only" crap. Haha. I like this year as it is. :D

What are your plans for 2006?

Med school! I'm planning to go to Hongkong or Surigao this march, Bora in october and some convention for seaweed.

How are you different now that the year has ended?

I'm much more mature. I've learn from my mistakes. :)

What are your wishes for the new year?

I wish for world peace. Haha.

I wish for everyone to be happy and be safe from harm.

Lapit na graduatiooonnn! Med school here I come! ~abi
To my friends, i love you all! happy new year! ~abi

Picture timeee!

Art imitates life...

PhotoCredits:

Picture taken by: Thorabeech (Copyrighted) (12-29-05, Starmall Cinema)
Image Hosted by: Photobucket

Oh what Joy...

Hay last night was terrible. Kainis sana hindi na lang ako pumayag makipag-conference sa gf ni justin. Nakokonsensya tuloy akoo! Hay. Basta ang sama nung nangyari. I didn't like it sobra. Sobrang nanlamig yung hands ko while typing and grabe. tinaasan pa ako ng kilay (emoticon). hay. I tried being friends with her naman eh. Although puro school yung nabbrought up ko. Shit. Di naman kasi na dapat nag-uusap ang past at ang present eh, dahil ang present galit sa past. Pero ano'ng ikakagalit niya sa akin? I'm nice and besides I don't have the slightest intention na agawin ko yung boyfriend niya sa kanya. I had a piece of Justin's heart (ay piece nga lang ba?) not so long ago and I admit na I was hurt when things didn't go well between us. Pero tapos na yun eh. I've already accepted the fact that the guy who used to love me isn't mine anymore. Hay. I just wished her gf was nicer to me.. :( Well that's that. Now you know my greatest nightmare of all times.

I'm reading Garner's Politically Correct Bedtime Stories.. I don't know if it's meant to be funny but the lines he wrote there are so funny! Weird. Red Riding Hood accused the woodsman (rather a log-fuel technician) of being a sexist and speciesist. Thanks ulit kay angela for posting this story sa libreng_ebooks group. :)

Oh well. Gotta catch-up with my reading! Pila na yung dapat kong basahin. I haven't finished reading Meg Cabot's Boy Next Door, di ko pa nauumpisahan yung Lion, Witch and Wardrobe and I need to download Love in the Time of Cholera.. Helpp!! So many books!!

I'm soooooooo....... tired.

I bought that freakin' magic wallet na. Sa wakas. After all these frockin times...! Syempre pink yung binili ko. Weefee. Me happy. Yak sobrang shallow!!! Hahaha. Damn. I saw some frockin koreans sa Rob. Puta. I screamed like Lucy Lawless (Xena)! Badtrip. Nabigla nga ang aking mami. Bakit daw ako sumigaw... That's scream of hate for something repetitive. Hasus. Now my mom thinks I'm psycho. Hahaha. I don't care. Basta. Koreans. Ugh.

Hay. This friday, I'll become my other alter-ego na naman. Ang hip, kikay, chic na si Abi. Imma gonna attend some dance concert sa CCP at libre ang ticket. Susmaryosep. Hindi naman ako puwedeng magpakita dun ng naka-rugged (Vintage shirt, tattered pants, tsinelas, aviators at indian sling). Dapat medyo sosyal. Medyo pa-gurlash. Kaya namili ako ng damit, este namili ang nanay ko ng damit ko. Black denim skirt, black razor back, long sleeves na wrap-around at syempre wedge na slippers. Puta. Hindi naman sobrang formal yung look. Medyo pambakla lang. Hehehehe. Gusto ko ngang bumili ulit ng aviators na terno sa damit ko. O di ba? Akala niyo wala akong alam sa fashion. Huu. Hindi lang ako fashion-addict. Wala lang ako time minsan dahil tamad ako. Ayun.... Basta walang kakilala ko ang pupunta dun sa Hua Mulan. Secret na lang ang itsura ko nun. Mag-mamake-up, at mag-aayos ako ng buhok nun. So sorry sa mga hindi makakakita sa akin. Minsan lang yun. Wahahahahahaha!

Pictures muna ng wallet ko!!

PhotoCredits:

Photo Taken By: Thorabeech (Copyrighted) (12-28-05, Living Room table)
Hosted By: Photobucket
Comments: Sorry! Nakita tuloy na 100 pesos na lang yung laman ng wallet ko!

The Attack of the Ukay-Ukay people

Something's bothering me big time. I dreamt about the Koreanovela "Frog Prince." But I wasn't even thinking about that show. And I don't watch that show (xcept for the occassional previews sa GMA)!


Must be because I ran into a group of Koreans in Diliman who seemed to follow me around (is it me or talagang madaming Koreans na sa UP?????!!) Maybe I can't get over the fact that one of them have the same shoes like mine (See picture sa baba)! Holy fuckkkkk. That girl looked like that ghost girl dun sa Korean film na "A Tale of 2 Sisters." Ughhh.... Koreans Koreanssssss... Sana wala akong makasalubong later na Koreano or else.... Be on the look-out for another Holocaust. I have nothing against them and I'm not a racist. Pero Dyos ko. Nagsasawa na ako kakatingin sa mukha nila sa t.v., sa print, pati yung bulok nilang grammar sa Thermos bottle namin pati yung amoy ng damit nila (if you smell them, you would definitely remember Ukay-ukay stores)! Hay naku! It looks like na they're invading us with their culture. Naku po... I would definitely kill myself if this would finally make sense: "Any time I need to see your face and your crystal mind." (galing ito sa aking Korean stationery with matching pictures pa ng Panda Bear na patong-patong).

Die you Ukay-ukay people! Don't invade my dream waves or imma gonna do something really bad.... Be very afraid!

Photo Credits:

Taken By: Thorabeech (the artist formerly known as Abi)
Image Hosted By: Photobucket

I'm writing this as if they read my blog or at least if they understood a thing or two here.

A Person With No Name

Ala lang. The title of this post has no relation or whatsoever with the content of the post. I just remembered the song: "A Horse With No Name" kaya yun. Hay. I just came home from ATC with my friend and blockmate (na bs industrial pharmacy na ngayon). We met at Chowking Philcoa at around 12:30 pm because I promised to give him my hand-outs in microbio lab. We (or rather I) decided to go to ATC since he was supposed to tutor someone at Pacific Village (he told me about his tutee, at naku day! Ang taray! Mayaman ang tutee nya.. Half-Spanish ang gurlash!). And since his scheduled tutorial wasn't until for 5 pm, nag-tambay tambay kami sa ATC. I just gave him a tour of the "mall" and he was surprised to see that ATC was bigger than what he expected. Ganoon kasi ang architecture ng ATC, parang looks can be deceiving ba. It looks small from the outside, but it's really big (with the fountains, and connected malls) once your inside. Ayun. So we just walked around and talked. We saw some people I know. We bumped into Sherryln Alfante (Bio batchmate ko, and she was looking at Ranielle instead of me nung nagkita kami), my highschool batchmate si Lenor Aguinaldo and we also saw Sir Arvin (I think he's part of the administration na of Divine Light Academy). Ayun. Tas we went to Powerbooks to read the summaries of some books and laughed about how Dra. Margie Holmes seem to entertain more "sexual" issues other than other psychological dysfunction (Ano ba ang specialization ni Dra. Margie Holmes??). We gossiped about artists (showbiz) din and we found out (from reading Yes! Mag) that Heart Evangelista owns this super fab condo unit.

Ayun. By 4ish, we decided to go to Pacific Vill.. Tas we walked lang! Grabe tas maling route ang aming ginawa! Sa likod ng ATC papuntang Alabang-Zapote Road while dapat ang ginawa lang namin dapat tumawid lang kami sa ATC. Badtrip. Oh well. Kaya hindi na ako nahiya nung sinabi niya na sumakay na ko sa may bus na naka-stop dun sa may Alabang Hills. Hahaha. Oh well. I'm not that bad. I still spent almost 3 hours para lang ma-entertain siya. Hehehe.

Tas I sacrificed my time pa. Dapat babalik ako ng Makati to buy my Magic Wallet. O diba? Hehehe. No pictures muna. I forgot to bring my cam eh. Hehe. Siguro tomorrow na lang. My mom said that if I finished transcribing her files tonight, she promise to bring me to Makati and buy me the wallet. Hay. It's really hard if your mom is your boss. Wala kang angal. Hay naku.

O siya. Bukas na ulit. :)

Catatonic

It is a condition of being apparently awake but unresponsive.

Yup. That's what I'm feeling right now. I'm awake and emotionally unresponsive. Ugh.

I took an early walk at the park this morning. It was supposed to be an early jog but I was too lazy to tire my muscles so I opted to just walk. I really loved the morning air (although it's gonna give me colds later on) and the sight of people walking round and round, children playing... Hay. It reminded me of what this old man (from the writing workshop I recently attended) told me. He told me that I should stop seeing things in an optimist's pov. He said that I should complicate my life and look for flaws that this world have. It was because I wrote something (which was based from experience) about my trip from school (Manila) to my house (in Las Pinas). I described the sights I saw during my trip. I was just merely relating what I felt and I was really elated at that time. I mean what's wrong with having an illusion? Maybe thinking that the sunset at Roxas Blvd is beautiful means a big joke for realists but not for hopeful people like me. He (the old man) even described me as a "child who's having a field trip." Is it bad for someone to just go back and experience the world in a child or in an optimist's view? Hay. I don't know. Maybe I really do think that life is that wonderful. Maybe I am immature because I still see the world as a fun place. Maybe I really need to complicate things. Or maybe I should wake up and smell the coffee. Reality...

That's why I'm in this catatonic state. I'm confused. I don't know my purpose. I don't know what to feel. I don't know if the decisions I made are leading me to the right path. But what is the right path for me? Hay. So many questions... I need someone with answers. In less than a month, I'll be turning 20 and these questions still exist. I'm a person with no purpose. Maybe i'm still stuck with the past. I never got out of my child state. Hay. Still innocent with life's complexities.

I'm really sorry if this post came so strong. I really need help.

And so concludes this merry event

I'm still in this quasi-festive mood up to now. Daym! My best friend's house did wonders to me. I mean, I was like the Grinch this morning. I refused to get out of my bed (see creative picture sa baba) and I didn't want to hear mass. My head was aching big time and I really want to just lie in my bed and just sleep all day. Haha. Luckily, steph made me get out of the grinch mood at napapunta niya ako sa kanila! Ayun. A trip to her house renewed my festive mood. We ate (grabe.. their house is filled with food ata), played Hangaroo (Hangman kaso Kangaroo yung nihahang), watched HellRaiser: Hellbound (watchout for Pinhead and his slice-and-dice minion of doom), watched PBA (I enjoyed watching basketball na) and we made fun of their dogs (Milky and Dollar who were hollering like crazy hyenas whenever their neighbors light up a fire cracker). I really had fun because the people there are so friendly! Her lola (she missed me sobra!), auntie Merly, tito odie and her rather eccentric vegan grampa was excited to see me and Jonas (Steph's beau) there. Ayun. We drank sake din pala. And lo and behold, hindi ako nag-ka allergies! Oha! Seems like God made an exception ngayon ah. Cuz usually, after a drink or taste of freaking fruitcake, sa ospital ang tuloy ko. It'll start with a nasty itch tas rashes and then the fun begins. I'm really not allowed to take in alcohol (all forms) dahil allergic nga ako. I need to get a shot of anti-histamine (take note, "shot" ang kelangan ko, hindi tablet) para mawala ung allergies. And then after tha shot, mababangag ako lalo dahil nakakaantok siya. As in bluuug, no response from Abi. Tulog. Hahaha. Sana wala po Lord. Ayokong dalhin sa ospital. Hehehehe. :)

Ayun. So it's 9:18 pm in my clock. Tomorrow will be mah parent's 24th wedding anniv. Of course there will be no celebration dahil: 1. My dad's not here. 2. Next year pa yung grand na celeb dahil 25th anniv nila yun. Ayun. My mom will be going to ATC tom (I don't know if I'll come) to have a "day-off" dun sa "THE SPA." It's of course brought to her by my working bro. He gave her Spa GCs!! Sana ako din. Hahaha. Mainggit daw ba???!! Well. I got Paulo Coehlo's "The Zahir" from him as christmas present. Yay! Hurrah! Ambait talaga ni kuya (uhhh. ngayon lang ito dahil user ako). Hehehehehe. Ayun. So bukas na lang ulit! I gotta catch up with my reading pa.... Plus, I can feel the sake shit kicking in. Huu.. That's all for now. Daym! You guys need to try that sake. It's so goooood.........

Film strip ng kabangagan...

Photo taken by: Abi Ruidera (Copyrighted) - 12-25-05, Abi's Room
Image Hosted by: Photobucket
Edited by: Abi Ruidera - Adobe Photoshop 7.0

merry christmas

me'ey paskooooo to everyoneeeeeee!!!!

Hoplaa!

Finally. I'm done with the christmas stuffs that I need to do! Yay! Some pics muna...

Waiting for my baked mac to cook


Watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" at Cartoon Network

Hai! In a few hours christmas na! I'm not really in a mood pa to make this hoopla thing about xmas muna. Haha. I'm soooo tired! Later na! Sleep muna si Abi. I'm gonna wake up pa later dahil we're celebrating noche buena in my tita's house. Nytie Nyt.

By the way, I went to this bazaar in World Trade. Damnit. I wasn't able to buy anything. Damn. I did wana buy this chic vintage wallet kaso nanghinayang ako. Whhhyyy? It's a long pink shiny wallet, and it was only for a 150 bucks. Tas I saw this purse, i'm talking about an Original Billabong, tas the girl (the proprietor) was selling it to me for 400 bucks na lang. Whyyyyy? Something's wrong with me. Billabong yun abi!!!!! Fuck. Tas I saw a lot of good clothes, vintage shirts, bags (indian slings), all of 'em to die for, but I resisted to buy anything! Fuck! Why am I holding back the moneyyyy??????!!!! I have the cha-ching (thanks to my godmother) but I didn't buy anything! Hell! The bazaar was oozing with all the "good" stuffs! From Egyptian papyrus, bags and fuck factory over-runs ng CK! And I didn't buy anything!!!!! I guess... Natatakot akong mawalan na naman ng pera! Tas kakaasar pa, mauubos lang ung pera ko para pambayad ng bill. Ughhhh. I hate having money and spending it wisely, especially on christmas day. I mean, christmas = having lots and lotsa money and then spending a ridiculous amount of it on majority nonsense wants and not thinking about your needs. Daym. It's so hard to be responsible and you know.. Just forget being one for one day. Hay. Oh well. Rustan's wallet pa din. Hahahahahaha!!!

Ayun. So to everyone na nakakabasa: "Merry Xmas to all and to all your families!" Kahit pa galit ako sa yo. Hell. Tis the season to be merry and to be broke afterwards. Hahahahahaha. Till next xmas y'all!!!!

Oh wait.

P.S. Hu d fuck's angel?
Someone called me earlier. She was looking for Gayle. I WAS Gayle. Take note of the use of linking verb ha. Hindi I AM GAYLE, kundi I WAS Gayle. I used that name before when I was a terrible, irresponsible, fun-loving, man-loving girl. But I forgot about that part of my life so I told her honestly na ako si Abi but I didn't know who she was!! Tas she asked me if I knew someone na ang pangalan ay Ronnie. Huuu fuck. I forgot at that time na meron nga akong kilalang Ronnie so I told her na wala akong kilalang Ronnie. Fuck. Ronnie was Gayle's fling. Not boyfriend but fling lang. Gahh.. Ngayon ko lang siya naalala!! Na-register yung numero nung Angel sa caller id ko but hell! I won't call her and tell her na: "Yeah, I know you and Ronnie. She was my alter-ego's ex-fling." She might be confused and at the same time baka bagsakan pa ako ng fone. Pero nakokonsensya naman ako. Boohoo. Napaisip tuloy ako. Meron pa kayang ex-flings si Abi este si Gayle na kelangan kong maalala????

I know. I'm mentally retarded. I have 5 different alter-egos and am a bipolar... So sue me for being a psycho!

Uhhhh

Holla holla to everybody! It's the day before christmas and boy i'm swamped! I need to wrap all those last-minute gifts! Holla holla! They're not mine!! Puro pabalot... Aba, may bayad po ang aking artistic side. Hahahaha. Ayun. What elseeee? Last day na ng misa de galo, and so kahit hindi ko nakumpleto, nag-wish pa din ako. Hindi ko sasabihin no???!!!! Hehehe...

Ohmigod. Reading has got to stop for me. Nagdodownload ako ng Meg Cabot books ngayon. Uh-oh... Adik.

maya na lang ulit. got so many things to dooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hay

Boredom's oozing out of me.
Oops. My mom just arrived. And with donuts.
I'm eating one right now... Yum yum.

I haven't finished reading Eleven Minutes.
I went out a while ago.
To buy a real paperback bargain book on book sale.

One thing you didn't know about me is that I love reading mystery books at night.
I only buy mystery books that are published during early 1920's up to late 80's.
I love the yellowish paper and the old scent the book gives out.
Mmm... Smells vintage. Plus they're cheap!

Especially at book sale. Boy oh boy, If have lotsa of money to spend, i'll buy all the
vintage mystery books there. Huuu.... My mouth's salivating right now.

So that's why i'm so goddamn weird all this week.
I've been sleeping very late! Devouring every books in our mini library.
Haha. So t'was my fault all along....

Elementary my dear.
Haha.
tomorrow na! Cgeeeeee....... Gotta read.

Zommmbiieeeee mode

Oh yeah..

I don't care about you no more.
Remember that.

ebuk galur

hay. Hindi nga ako sa kape addicted, sa pagbabasa naman. Haha. All thanks to Angela (thanks for sharing!), I discovered this yahoo group (angela's the mod) who offers free e-books. Interested people, please leave a message on the comment box. Hay. I'm already on page 159 of Paulo Coehlo's Eleven Minutes. This is my first time to read a novel na e-book. I still want the "traditional" way of reading.. Yung asa paperback or at least in a binded condition. Hay. But due to inflation, grabeng mahal na ng books ngayon! A Paulo Coehlo book costs at around 259 pesos sa National Bookstore (yun pa yung maliit na libro). Hay. So i'm forced to read parts by parts... Hayy..

If yar people are reading this, malapit na din ang birthday ko. January 8 na. Baka may generous dyan... Isang complete set na Narnia lang, ok na ko. Ayoko namang basahin yung whole set na e-book. Although na-download ko din yun Lion, Witch and Wardrobe, hay ang effort magbasa! Grabe. Hay.

Malapit na din ang christmas! So yung mga may balak mag-send sa akin ng text on christmas eve, baka ndi po ako maka-reply dahil ala pa ding load ang fone ko. Ayoko namang gamitin yung sun pang-text dahil baka tumirik lang ang mata ko kaka-intay na maka-send. Hay. So ayun, to everyone... Advance Merry Xmasss!! :)

Till next time.. :)

U Make Me Complete

I cried.

I watched "50 1st dates" sa cable and it was so nice.
I mean. Henry chose to remain with Lucy's despite her condition.
In reality, meron kayang ganung guy?
Who's willing to be with somebody na walang naalala paggising?

It's sad for Lucy's case because you can't remember the people round you.
You can't remember your wedding, you can't remember being pregnant...
You experience something but the memory won't last. That's sad.

But there was Henry who stayed for her.
How many people would do that for their loved-one..?
Hay. Love. Love. Love....

XMAS COUNTDOWN: 2 days....

mondo weirdo

I juz got home. Sorry for the "bangag" post (please refer to earlier post. Bangag talaga ako. Papasko na kasi, tas I'm not having nuf sleep dahil matagal akong makatulog pag gabi tas super duper aga kong kelangan magising dahil I have to attend misa de galo with my bestfriend. By tomorrow, I'm sure to be normal again dahil tom's gonna be my "rest" day from all gala with my mom, thesis, assignments, work, and uhh last day na ng misa de galo tomorrow. Ayun.

I went to makati ulit a while ago. I tried to find another copy of "d' sound's greatest hits," but I failed to obtain one because it seems na lahat ng stocks nabili na. Boo-hoo. I bought a casette copy of the said album last year for only 50 pesos. But unfortunately, I lost the tape or somebody borrowed it from me or aliens took that casette. So whatever the reason was.. Nawala ang tape at I want a new one kaso wala na. Hay. But since andun na ako, I tried to look for another bargain casette tape. And lucky for me, I saw one. It's called "The Lounge Story." It's a compilation of chill-out sounds from Universal. Hay. I bought it for 50 bucks din. Yay. I'm listening to it right now, and it's worth my precioussss money.

I'm so tired. Really.. I am. And for some reason... I don't like drinking coffee anymore. I don't wanna be dependent on it. Yeah. I thought of all the adverse effects of coffee to my body. Plus I need sleep. For some reason, I don't know what the hell I was thinking, mixing caffeinated drinks with urge of sleeping. Sleeping and coffee don't mix together. Really. :) Hay. So back to the old me. No coffee. Always sleepy. I like the way it was.

I gotta sign-off for the day. I need to catch up on my reading and probably watch t.v.

By the way, HP3 will be aired on HBO later at 9:00 pm. Looks like i'm a happy camper tonight. Cheers everyone!!! :)

Yohoho

3 days before christmas.. Hurrah hurrah. I'm feeling the inflation so no gifts for yer goddamn free loaders. I got to work my ass to have money. Damn it.. Goddamnit. Hahaha... I was fantasizing bout med school this morning. I ain't gonna suck. I'm gonna be this workaholic shit who works to death. Imma gonna be like Reese Whitherspoon's her character on this film entitled "Just Like Heaven." yahaha. I'm sorry y'all i'm acting like a crazy red neck biatch. This is what you get when you deprive me of fucken sleep and some dough. Ya know what i'm sayin? Damn it. I gots so many things to do. Like this assignment my mom and my brother's imposing me to do. Gaahd. I really hate work. Work sux big time. But we need to work for us to go somewhere else. Yo. Imma leavin to go to QC. Fucken seaweeds need some care from me. Later!

I hope all my fucken efforts will pay-off. I really wanna to go to some shitty convention either in Japan or in Malaysia. We'll gonna present our thesis there, so those goddamn seaweeds need to shed off their fucken cell walls for us to have some protoplast. Ya know what i'm sayin? Hell. I sound like someone who tried drugs for the first time. I'm fine really. Just need sleep and coffee.

My mom

Gosh! Me and my mom are bonding this past few months (lalo na ngayon na vacation na pareho)! Ever since she had problems with her job (she works for the infamous Hacienda Luisita) and when she started taking up that Med trans course in Perpetual, I got to spend more time with her. Maybe I was a bit lonely din kaya it gave way para mag-open ako sa kanya. We talked about a lot of stuffs. School (finally she understands the pressure of being a student in a contemporary setting), lovelife (we talked about the qualities that I should look for a guy), friends (hers and mine) and everything.. We go out lots dahil I'm partly (no make it totally) dependent sa kanya in terms of cash. But I really enjoy going out with her not because she buys all the things I want! I give her fashion tips and she also give me her honest opinion about it.

Well. Who said your mother can't be your bestfriend? I'm happy, and I guess that problem with her job was a blessing in disguise because now that she's free with that corporate "stress," she became a full-time mom and a friend to me. :) Love you lots mom!!

Meet my mom:

Now you know which side of the family I got the weird genes. Haha!

(Photo was taken by Abi - 12-20-05 in Glorietta, Makati)

Bangag day with bes

Yay! I got to spend some quality time with my sister slash bessy bes friend. She brought Grudge DVD for us, rather for me to watch (napanood na kasi niya). We watched the 1st two part. I think it was the series yung napanood namin. Later, papanoorin ko naman yung movie version 1 and 2. Holy fuck. I'm really terrified... Buti pa siya, dahil pinahiram ko siya nung "If Only" DVD ko. Eh... Romantic yun! No fair. Dapat parehas kaming mababangag sa takot. Damn it. Haha. Ayun.

Tas we made a copy of her pictures sa CD. Ni-transfer namin yung mga asa fone niya.. Kaso di kami nakapag-puicture together dahil pangit yung lighting sa bahay namin tas parehas kaming semi-wasted dahil sa pesteng Ju-On (Grudge) na yan.. Haha. Anyway, post ako ng pic niya dito para mameet niyo naman si Bes. :)

Medyo hindi naman siya masyadong masaya no??

Boyfriend ni steph.. Hehe. Meet Jonas. Hahaha

Ayun muna. :) Hehe. I'm happy and scared right now. Natatakot ako sa Ju-Onnnnn!! Wahhhhh!

Tribute to my bestfriend...

I have a weird sleeping pattern every vacation. I sleep early in the evening then I wake up at exactly 11:50 pm then go back to sleep at 1 am then wake up again at 3 am. Ugh. This bad bad sleeping habit should stop cuz it's givin' me a headache. Last sembreak, sobrang araw-araw wasted, mukha akong adik. Wala pang coffee yan ah. Pag may coffee, wala talagang tulog. Bullshit. I wanna get some sleep na. The problem is, ayokong i-give up yung coffee. And hell, I don't like decaf, di ko malasahan yung essence ng coffee. Tas sabi ko nga kanina.. Wala pa nga akong coffee may weird sleeping patterns na ako. Haha. hay. Papakaadik na lang ako....

Nagkita na kami ulet ni bes!! yay! Namiss ko na yung kulitan namin. Kaya tribute ko sa kanya tong rest of my post! Hehe..

Stephanie Del Rosario. My ever bestfriend since elementary. Naalala pa niya yung first time namin na naging magkaklase sa preschool... Hinoard ko daw yung invitation sa party niya kasi care bears yung design! Grabe. Pero naging close kami since grade 5, ever since nung funeral ng mom niya. I went there ng nakapambahay lang ata tas naputol pa yung slippers ko dahil we played sa may playground sa likod ng church. Ayun. Weird ba? Patay yung mom niya tas naglalaro kami? Haha. That's us. Weird gals.

Ayun. Tas sobrang na-build yung friendship namin nung high school. We saw each other mature, both physically and emotionally. Halos pareho kami sa lahat. We both had our 1st "serious" boyfriend nung 2nd year high school. Yung sa kanya nagtagal for 2 years tas yung sa akin, only lasted for a couple of months. Haha... We both had long hair, pero nauna siya magpahaba sa akin tas nagpagupit siya... Tas sa akin naman yung humaba (lagpas bra!!). Weird! Ayun. Lagi kaming andun para sa isa't isa. Literal na tinawid namin ang bagyo na kaming dalawa lang. Kuwento ko lang.. Nakakatawa talaga pag naalala ko yun ehhh!!

Sikat na sikat pa noon yung mini donuts sa may RFC dahil bago pa lang. Every dismissal, pupunta kami dun para i-try yung mga flavors, kesehodang hindi kami kumain ng tanghalian at maglakad na kami pauwi, kelangang may mini donuts. So at this particular afternoon, napansin na naming madilim sa labas, pero dahil hayok kami sa mini donuts minadali na lang namin yung pagbili para hindi kami abutin ng ulan. Wala ng natira sa allowance naming dalawa kasi kaya naglakad na lang kami pauwi... Tutal malapit lang naman ang bahay ni Tep kaya kahit umulan man puwedeng tambay muna ako dun para magpatila. Aba nung nakaka-cover na kami ng 1/2 ng distance ng nalalakad ayun na... Biglang kumulog, kumidlat at jaraaannn! Umulan! Kami naman parang ewan, biglang takbo. As in takboooo!! Wala kasi kaming payong na dala kaya todo takbo kami papunta sa kanila. Naalala ko nasira pa nga yung project ko sa Religion (CLVE) dahil nilipad ng hangin! Tas naiiyak na ako nun dahil basang-basa na talaga kami. Nung malapit na kami sa kanila, ako na yung nauuna sa paglalakad. Inis na inis na ako nun dahil nagsisisi ako kung bakit ba bumili pa kami nung punyemas na mini donuts na yun. Ayun. Pero narinig ko si Tep... Sabi: "Abii...." Pag lingon ko sa kanya, tangna, halos mamatay ako ng kakatawa. Nadulas pala siya dun sa may parang ramp dun sa bilihan ng tubig nina Mae (yung kapitbahay nila na ka-age namin ni Tep). Ang sama ko no?? Pero kung ikaw talaga yung nakakita sa nangyari sa kanya mauutas ka din sa pagtawa. Hahaha...

Ayun. Hindi pa lang yun yung baha na sinabak namin. May isa pang incident na kinailangan naming pulutin yung mga gamit niya sa baha dahil ang magaling na stephanie, iniwang bukas ang zipper ng backpack. Hay. Grabe. Nakakatawa talaga.. :)

Sobrang dami na naming pinagdaanan. Sama ng loob.. tawa.. Lahat yun. Kaya nga sa napipinto niyang pagpapakasal (3 yrs or 2 yrs from now) ako yung maid of honor niya. Magkaiba na yung tinahak
naming landas paglatpos ng high school. Siya sa Mapua ako sa UP. Siya may steady boyfriend na super mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal siya. Ayun.

Nakakalungkot nga dahil nakakamiss yung mga ginagawa namin before. Yung pupunta siya either dito or ako yung tatambay sa kanila. Grabe. Ngayon kasi minsan na lang kami magkausap, minsan na lang magkita kahit pa ilang kanto lang yung bahay niya sa amin. Hay.

Kaya mamaya sobrang lulubusin ko yung bonding time namin. Haha. Pupunta kasi siya dito.. Manonood kami ng GRUDGE... Hehe.. We share the same love for being scaredy-cats. Manonood ng horror para lang matakot. Haha.

To my bestfriend ever: "Ganda! Punta ka dito mamyang 1 pm. 1 pm ah hindi 1 am, hindi 5 pm, 1 pm. Miss yah!"

Wala akong pic na ma-post na magkasama kaming dalawa. Ala naman kasi akong scanner eh. Haha. Post ko sana yung pic namin nung prom. Hahaha. Beautiful girls... Partners in crime.. Sisters for life! :)

Hay

It's so cold outside. Hay.
Have this christmas-y feeling building up.
Hay.

I'll be attending mass tomorrow at 4 am.
Darn it. I missed 3 masses already.
That means I can't wish for anything.
Ganda pa naman ng wish ko.
Hay. Oh well. I'll be reserving that wish on my birthday.

Between you and me.. I'll wish for everyone to be happy.
Happy, contented and living a worry-free life just like me?
Haha. Not quite yet. I'm still on the process of rebuilding myself.
Doing the "new" me. Someone who's not afraid to leave the past.

I'll be a somebody.
I'm gonna be a successful cardio-thoracic surgeon after 8 years.
You'll be seeing a more focused, more matured me next year.

Just me.
Real, single and not looking.

If you're reading this. This song's for you...

USED TO LOVE YOU
John Legend

Lyrics :
Baby, It's me... Maybe I bore you
No, No it's my fault cause I can't afford you
Maybe baby Puffy, Jay Z
Could all be better for you
Cause all I could do was love you

Baby when I used to love you
There's nuttin that I wouldn't do
I'd twist through the fire for you
Anything you asked me to
But I'm tired of living this lie
It's getting harder to justify
I realize that I just don't love you
Not like I used to
Holla Holla Holla (yeaaahh)
Holla holla holla (yeah, yeah, uh, uh)

Maybe I should rob somebody
So we could live like Whitney and Bobby
It's probably my fault
My bad, My loss
You are the cause
All I could do was love you

Baby when i used to love you
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I'd twist through the fire for you
Anything you asked me to
But I'm tired of living this lie
It's getting harder to justify
I realize that I just don't love you
Not like I used to
Holla Holla Holla (yeaaahh)
Holla holla holla (yeah, yeah)

Oh! I used to (wheeen I used to)
Love you (used to... Love you)
Oh! But I don't (baby no not any more... I don't love you)
Love you (noooo, used to ... love you)
Oh! I used to used to love you
You're gonna miss me now...

No drama, no lies... ~ abi03

Hay

I don't know what to write here today.
Except... I'm so sleepy.

But I can't sleep.
I need to work on my thesis paper.
hay. so sleepy.
i need coffee.

Wow. For a brief span of time, nawala yung addiction ko sa coffee. Wow. And it was all because of him. Long story pero after I said goodbye to him, slowly bumabalik ang addiction ko sa coffee. My mom's kinda worried. Pero ndi pa naman ako naoospital eh. Besides I really need it to keep me awake all the time. Toxic kasi dahil I don't have time to do extra school work in the morning. So lahat natatambak sa gabi. Gaya last week, thesis ako for 2 days, sabay sa classes tas may exam pa ako sa animal physio last thursday. Hindi ko naman mabasa lahat ng notes ko in between waiting time dahil may sinusulat pa kong observations. Whew. Buti na lang nung Wednesday, 7-9 lang ako and I had to beg-off sa thesis work para maka-review. And good thing din dahil xmas party nung thursday sa MSI, nakapag-review ako during my long break. Ayun. Buti na lang.

I don't know kung ano yung plan pa namin ni ralph para sa thesis, if we'll work this xmas break or not. I sure hope na hindi. I really want to rest and catch up on my reading (speaking of which, I had to bring down all the books I read last sembreak sa mini lib namin. I read almost 10ish pocketbooks ata). Plus, I need to spend time with my friends dito sa las pinas. Gaya ni Steph, she called last Friday. But I was in our block's xmas party kaya hindi ko siya nakausap. I really do think she's a bit mad at me na dahil I don't return her phone calls, I don't text her back and uhh.. Basta. I didn't mean to be snob but I was really busy the whole time, plus the fact that I don't know if she already changed her cell #. Darn it. Oh well, i'll just try to make it up to her. :)

Plus the fact that we're organizing another party for the block. So I can't be at April's and do thesis at the same time bcuz that's really impossible. Hay. What can I say but I'm fully booked with all the activities that I wanna do. Hay.

Ugh. What else?? Hmm. I also want to change my blog's lay-out, so I need to scout for another "skin" for me to edit. Hay. All of the things I wanna do requires time. Hay... I wish Santa could give me time this christmas. As in lots of it. And of course, I hope Santa will also bring me some money.. (haha.. greedy!)

I want to watch Kingkong din pala. Kaso I have no one to invite. I hope ipalabas na din yung Goal. I really want to watch it dahil I've been hearing great reviews about it na. I don't know what happened bcuz it was supposed to be in theaters last November 23. hay.

I'm so sleepy. haay. better have a nice warm Maxwell cup of coffee.

:)

Bago na yung pic sa right pane ng blog ko. Wasted talaga ang shot na yan. Oh well, lagi naman talaga akong wasted eh... Haha! ~abi

The morning after

Pagkatapos ng party, naisip namin na mag-organize ulit ng isa pa!
Overnight ito. Sa bahay nina april. Tenative pa ang date. Pero in fairness...
Marami ang may type! Haha. Sakit ng ulo ko........

Ilang linggo ding hindi todo puyat. Ugh.
Hikab ako ng hikabbbbbb.
Tas I have so many things pa na gagawin.
Hay. But I'm so happy.
That's what's much more important...

I love you blockmates!
Grabe..
I'm gonna miss you all.

After graduation, we're gonna take different career paths.
Some will continue med school.. Yung iba, graduate studies...
Tas yung iba bum (parang ako, joke) and some will be looking for jobs na.

I hope we don't lose contact with each other.
I just hope we all still remain friends, especially to those people na nagtiwala ako.

Thanks jeff for everything. You changed my life. Bigtime. Tandaan mo na hindi
kita ipagpapalit sa kahit sinong herodes. Ur still my number Vaklahhhh! Friends for life!

April... Even if we had this "thing" (no, we're not lesbos) before, andito pa din
ako. No gaps, no nothing. I'm just busy these days kaya medyo hindi ako nakakasama.
Thanks for everything. I appreciate those times na cinocomfort mo ko tuwing umiiyak
ako sa car mo.Tas ung mga pasama sa mga lugar lugar. I had fun those times. And I still do
kahit txt txt na lang tayo ngayon.. :) Nawa'y magtagal kayo ni Kristofer (tama ba spelling???)
Thanks dude. friends for life!

LeeAnn. Missing in action ka sa xmas party ah. Sama ka na lang sa next party natin.
Hay. Ang kikay kong friend. Ang super kasama ko tuwing uwian. Sobrang salamat for
trusting me with those stories you told me. You're like a sister I never had. We love talking about
kikay stuffs, relationships (ahem ahem), emotions kse. And super dooper thanks for being so open. :)
Maybe we'll see each other sa med school! Til then! Friends for life!

Rach. Grabe. Antagal na kitang hindi nakakasama! Kakamiss na! Even if last sem lang tayo super
nag-bond, I really appreciated 'yung company mo. You see life in a different light. I admire you
for that. You manage to party and still be a good student. Also, bad things happen to bad
people, kaya tingnan mo si JC ngayon. Bombo ang Apple niya ngayon. Hay. Friends for life!

Balbon. Potah. Balbon balbon. Mighty balbon. Hindi magiging block three ang block three kung hindi
dahil sa yo. I was really touched by your speech last xmas party. Yung sinabi mo na ur willing na
ipagtanggol ang lahat sa block. Naiyak talaga ko dahil sobra yung pagpapahalaga mo sa mga tao
sa block. Grabe. Sana makahanap ako ng isa pang balbon sa med school. Isang palatawa, makulit,
at sensitibong tao na marunong magpahalaga. Salamat! Mabuhay ka kaibigan! :)

Ranielle. Punyeta ranielle. Antagal ko ng alang naririnig sa yo, kaya kahapon sa xmas party.
Tangna... riot ka naman! Hay. Susme, pag nasa Alabang ka magtext ka sa akin. Pupuntahan kita.
Haha. Sobrang salamat dahil ikaw yung naging malaking impluwensya sa akin na maging simple
lang. Sa yo ko natutunan na hindi naman kailangang maging super magastos para lang maging
masaya. Salamat. Hay. Saan nga yung pinagtutoran mo?? Sa Pacific Village? Hahanapin kita doon!
Haha! :) Friends for life! (Namiss ko ng kumain kina Aling Hepa...!)

Hay. Ilan lang yan sa mga gusto ko talagang batiin. Naiiyak na kasi ako eh. Hindi ko kasi alam kung
makakahanap ako ng tao na tulad niyo sa buhay ko. Tunay kayong lahat. Yun yung gusto ko sa block
natin. Balahura sa balahura pero masaya lagi. Open sa isa't isa. Grabe. :c

Andami kong natutunan sa inyo. Kung ibabalik niyo ako sa 1st year, kayo pa rin ang pipiliin ko na
maging ka-block ko. Special tayo dahil of all people sa buong Pilipinas, tayo ang naging magkakasama.
Tayo yung mga nagkakilala.

We're more than just a block sa college.

Isa tayong pamilya.
We share a special bond.
Kaya kahit hindi na tayo magkakasama-sama. Tandaan niyo to...

"Ang isang block three, forever ng block three."

Love you guys!

Umagang post

Hay. Susmeng stephanie. Nagising ako ng 5 am dahil sa text niya.
Gumising na daw ako at magsimbang gabi daw kme. Susme.
Alas-5 na nun kaya malamang wala na akong abutan na misa pagpunta ko sa simbahan.

Bukas na lang. Ako naman ang mang-aariba sa kanya kung hindi ako bangag.
Xmas party ng block mamya so malamang-lamang, may pahabol pa yan sa apartment ni jeff.
O may mag-aaya na namang pumunta sa baywalk. Isa lang ang ibig sabihin nun.
Umaga na akong uuwi. Haha. Or pwede namang hindi. Depende na lang kung sasama ako.

Hay. Ayun. Maya-maya sasamahan ko si mami dun sa may factory na malapit sa amin.
Up to 67% percent off ang Pepsi products eh. Bibili daw kami ng santambak na Tropicana.
Puwede kayang malasing sa Tropicana? Haha. Nung bata nga ako, feeling ko nun nalalasing ako sa tubig eh.


Haha. Weirdo. Tas mamya bibili kami ng sapatos. Pa-christmas na daw sa kin ng mami ko yun.
Eh 350 pesos lang yun tas yun na yun? Puwede ko pa ngang i-haggle yun hanggang 300 pesos eh.
Oh well, it's the thought that counts.. Maganda naman yung shoes eh. Magagamit ko para sa xmas party.
Hehehe. :) Ayun.

Tapos na ang unos sa buhay ko. Naisip ko na wala ng sense para balikan yun dahil tapos na eh.
Wala na akong magagawa para ibalik ang nakaraan at gawing ok lahat.

Onga pala. Nanood ako ng oblation run kahapon. Ay susme. 7 ata sila or 9. Ewan.
Basta ang alam ko, promotor yang mga taga-department of bio!! Lalo na si Ate Malouuu!
Naku ah! Pero ako, todo-sigaw! Sobraaaa! Naked men!!! Ayyyyyyyy! Perv. Haha.

Last oblation run na mapapanood ko sa UP. Aww.. hehe. :)
Ayun. Tas bibili pa ako ng regalo kay Jeff. Naku ah. 2 paulo coehlo din ang madudugas niya sa akin!
Yun muna!!!

Babuuuuuuuuu.
Kukulitin ko pa si stephanie. tetext ko ng itetext hanggang magising siya. yeeeha!!!

hay

for some reason, i ain't sleepy.
maybe because I'm still thinking about what leeann told me sa lib kanina.
We talked about relationships and stuff.
And she asked me how I managed to stay with (toot) kahit pa andami kong dinanas na sakit.

Sa totoo lang..
I wasn't even sure how I did it.
Kung paano ko pinaniwala yung sarili ko araw-araw na ok lang ako.
Kung paano ko tiniis lahat nung emotional torment.
Na dinaan ko lang lahat sa iyak.

Kapag naiisip ko lahat yun..
Naiiyak ako.
Dahil lahat sa kanya tinanggap ko.
Kahit halos araw-araw tulala ako.
Kahit halos everytime na umuuwi ako, umiiyak ako.

Pero ininda ko lahat yun eh.
Lahat tiniis ko.
Lahat tinago ko.
Lahat kinaya ko.

Bakit?

Dahil pag mahal mo yung isang tao, nakakalimutan mo na yung sarili mo.
selfless pero selfish.

Hay.
Buti tapos na.
Nakakatulog na ako ngayon ng mahimbing.
Nakakauwi ako ng nakangiti.
Wala na akong iniisip.

Hay.
Naiiyak na ako. :(
Ang sakit ng paulit-ulit kang niloko at pinapaniwala.

Next week...

Hay next week pa ako makakabili ng magic wallet.
Sabog pera ko. Tangna.
Daming christmas party.
Merong xmas party sa lab.
Merong xmas party sa block.
Merong xmas party sa bahay ng bestfriend ko.
Merong xmas party sa MSI.

Susme.
Buti sana kung lahat libre kain eh.
Hay.
Gusto ko pang mag-malaysia.
Hay naku, mukhang yung Kota kinabalu ko eh
maging kota babu na.

Hay.
Tas ala pa kong pangregalo sa mga tao.
Bullshit.
Penge ng pera.
Bago kong slogan: "Your concern and care is good, but I need cash.."

Pera.
Pera....
Peraaaaaaaaaaa

Bukas: Exam physio, Xmas party ng MSI, Lantern Parade at Oble Run sa Diliman

onga pala

andaming tiangge sa diliman!!!!!!!
Gusto ko ng pera!!!!!!!
bibili ako ng native sling bag for 120 pesos!!!
at at, bibili ako ng sapatossssss!!!!!

nakakainiiiisssss!!!
peraaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
peraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

sori bangag...

Playlist...

What's on my playlist?

Paulit-ulit na You and Me by Lifehouse..
It's a nice song.
I hope someone in the near future would sing me that song.

Or be with someone really special then that song would play...
I'm really gonna cry.

I'm really a crybaby no?
There's a hell lotta of stuffs na iniiyakan ko.
I may look and sound idiotic, weird and apathetic
I may not express all the things I want others to know
But deep down...

I'm this helpless.
I'm weak.
I cry.
I feel.

I'm so lonely.

=======================================

You and Me
Lifehouse

what day is itand in what month
this clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep upand I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

all of the things
that I want to say
just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping inwards
you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

there's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
everything she does is beautiful
everything she does is right
you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive

Movie

Oh sori. Yun palang nurse klivia is not really nurse klivia ung title.
Yes nurse, no nurse pala un.

It's really funny. So if you have the chance to own one, it's good.
To read on its synopsis Click here --> Yes Nurse, No nurse Synopsis

O siya. Back to reading.

Christmas Wishlist

Santa, if you have access to www, please read my list. Haha.

Things I want for christmas:

1. VCD or DVD ng Nurse Klivia
(ohyeconoba, maganda ang film na ito)
2. A new bed (orthopedic one)
(feeling ko may scoliosis na ako eh)
3. Magic wallet
(susme, wala pa ring stock sa rustan's)
4. celfone holder
(yung kulay perpol na nibebenta sa rob)
5. mga libro
(mystery, puwede na rin yung complete set ni john sherwood)
6. salon gcs
(gusto ko ulit magpa-hair spa, manicure, pedicure)
7. spa gcs
(gusto kong magpa-facial at magpa-salt scub)
8. matinong laptop
(pwede na ang P-IV na may Wi-fi plus access sa DSL)
9. iPod Nano
(pwede din ang limited edition na iPod U2 or Harry Potter)
10. Bagong bag at tsinelas
(sling bag na itim saka matinong tsinelas)

at...

last but certainly not the least

11. Papuntahin niyo naman ako sa Malaysia
(Mura lang ang papuntang Kota Kinabalu eh)

(kala mo wish ako ng papa? no way jose..)
(abstain muna ako sa mga lalake. yoko munang umiyak)
(yaan na nating malamig ang pasko ko. hahaha. next year medgirl na ako!)
(saka kung magkaka-boyfriend ako ulit, magkakaboyfriend ako!)

Ayun. Grabe na-file ko natapos ko din yung last app for med. Whew. May answer briefly portion pa eh.

Oo nga pala. Sa mga aspiring doctors, click on this --> Should You Be A Doctor?
hay.

life.. goes on.
sino'ng bading?

not me.

hahaha.
si Maximo Oliveros bading!

May blog siya. Check it out. --> Maxi's blog
Mejo ok na pala ako. Ala na akong sakit! Yay!

Plus, yung pulis dun sa Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros ay si Jay-R Valentin.
Kapitbahay ko lang ang papang iyon.
Patpatin pa siya nun.
Pero lo and behold, siya'y nag-gym at naging Mr. Body Shots

Rawrr..

Sweaty.
Haha.

Iyon muna. Aaral na ako sa physio. Bangagan next week eh. :p

Tapos na

Hay..
Manindigan ka..

Creep

I managed to buy a new sim na.
So if you're my friend or somebody na gustong malaman ang aking whereabouts...
Itetext ko kayo using my new numero.

0915 toot toot tooot ung bago kong numero.
Haha.
Patay na yung 0926 toot toot tooot.
Try mong i-miscol.

I have the prerogative to screen or to choose kung sino lang ang magtetext sa akin.
Wahahaha.

Actually, kaya ako nagpalit ng sim....
Is to get away from his shadow.

Creep
Radiohead

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here

She's running out again
She's running out
She runs runs runs

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

====================================

Sori. I'm a bad person. Umaalis ng walang paalam.
Tama na. Ako na yung lumayo. Nawa'y maging masaya ka.
Tama ka. Mas masakit ang itaboy, masakit ang gaguhin.

Tama na....
I'm gonna run away, just like before.

I am sick

I have fever and I can't get out of my bed.
My eyes are encrusted with morning glory
and I'm so lazy to wash up or sumfin.

I had a guest kanina. (hmmmm)
Vellie sweet.
Placed an umbrella (new, small, green!) on my bag
So I won't get wet daw pagpunta ko sa thesis.
There'll be no excuse na para magkasakit.

Awww.

I'm soooo stressed out. Booo! :(
This is my schedule for next week:

M-F: (from Dec. 12 - 16)

o THESIS in UP MSI
(Submission na ng data namin sa PCAMRD, funding agency)

o Classes pa din...

THURSDAY: (Dec. 15)

o Oblation run in UPD (You might see me there)
(Not naked of course, duh, wala namang babae sa oblation run)

o Lantern Parade - UP Manila

o Exam in Bio 122 (Animal Physiology)

FRIDAY: (Dec. 16)

o Christmas party with blockmates, 4 - 7 pm, Gary's

o Start of Worry free (huh?!) Christmas break

===================================

I sure hope I get better. I really need to go to SM today to buy new sim card. :(
I want to go to Makati para bumili ng Magic Wallet.
Pero how, how the carabao..
How will I go there kung di ako makabangon. Ugh.
Ughhh..

Oop. Ano yung asa kanan?? Picture ko? Himalaaaaa!

Ohyeconoba

so how am i doing?
apparently, he again dismissed the gudbye issue
or he didn't receive the message.

we talked last night.
damn.

but i'm trying not to talk to him as much as before.
oh well. must move on.
hay.

I went to Uniwide kanina. (my mom's slogan for Uniwide: "The place to be for cheapskates!")
And guess what I found while rummaging through bargain stuffs..

In case you primitive ones don't know what this is..
Well it's a "magic beater" for cryin out loud.
It adds the "cake" in the "piece of CAKE" and makes scrambled eggs a hell lot easier.

We have one, ours has a large beater compared to that.
With it, I make scrumptious hotcakes (no lumps), scrambled egg, frothy coffee...

I should stop. I'm making you (my dear reader) salivate.
Haha. If you want to buy one, it only cost 19 pesos.
You should really consider in buying one.
It's a good investment, believe me.
Forks are not meant for beating eggs.
Haha.

So. Yun. This post is meant to promote the magic beater.
Haha.

**I'm going to enroll on a cooking class tomorrow.
It'll only cost 75 pesos and will be held from 8 am to 5 pm.
Venue? Here in Las Pinas of course.
Classes will start next year. :)

Peace!

Hay

1st thing first...

I finally said goodbye to him na. As in for real and for keeps na.
All things fell into place and it felt right for the right time.

I sent him a message telling what I felt.
That I can't stay dahil we're living our separate lives na.
May jas na siya and I need time alone.

Hay. I felt I made the right decision dahil...
While I was in the department store (a while ago)
I thought whether I did the right thing or not and then I heard this song...

Sorry for the stupid thing by Babyface.

It was his favorite song...

At that moment, I was struck and couldn't move.
Like in a movie, I just stood there and tears fell.

Tas when I was in my cuzin's house,
I was tempted to send him a message.
Tas chineck ko yung balance ko..

Your load is 0.50 cents.
Expired na din yung unlimited ko.

Di ba?

Destiny.
Destined na hindi na kami magkita at mag-usap ulit.

Hay...

=========================================

2nd thing...

I watched "Just Like Heaven" with Leeann kanina.
It was so good.
I cried. (hehe)
Sobra.

I fell inlove.
Kanino?

Haha.

Basta I fell inlove.
It's so nice.
Really nice.

It made me smile.

Hay....

=========================================

Birthday ng anak ko bukas.
Haha. Anak?

Birthday ng lil cuzin ko tom.

Aint he guapo? I took this pic while he was sleeping.
I went to their house kanina dahil malapit lang naman yun sa dept. store.

Hay. He's turning 4. (Russell Louis D. Hernandez name niya)

We (me and justin) used to call him little blue boy.
Dapat boy blue, kaso siya yung may gusto ng blue boy eh.

Hay....

Gadddddd, I miss him (refer to first part of post) already.

Be strong.

Hay....

Be strong

Pasubali

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

Am I that stupid to let you go? I'm so confused.
I pray for better times. No more bad feelings.
We're living our separate lives and it's time to...

Finally say goodbye to you.

Lord give me the strength to finally end this.

Once and for all.

(hiatus)

**The promised story will have to wait. I'm disturbed.

Hahay

Actually ndi naman talaga ako inaantok. Tinatamad akong magsulat nung kuwento. Kelangan ko ng matinding inspirasyon para isulat yung kuwento, may konsepto na ako eh. Badtrip. Hindi ko makuha yung tamang writing mood eh. Tsk tsk. Bukas sa aking araw ng pahinga, malamang makuha ko na yung mood. Hay. :)

Tama bang mag-senti song marathon kagabi? At patamaan daw ba ako ng mga kanta??? Sinabi ko lang na tinatamaan ako pero sa totoo lang... Ako'y manhid na. Kahit tagos sa buto yung mga kanta mo para sa akin, wala. Nakatulog nga ako eh. As in maaga pa ah. Ito ba ay isang sign? Na ako'y naka-move on na at ang na-reduce na ang pagtingin ko sa kanya ng bilang isang kaibigan na lamang? Ang akala ko, hindi na ako makakawala. Mali pala ako. Hindi na kita sobrang hinahanap! Hay. God is good and He made pain temporary. :)

Hay. Magsusulat ako ng essay tom, at ang subject matter?? "Why do you want to take up medicine?" Kelangan eh sa app ko sa med. Hehe. I'll try my best. :)

Crash Into Me
Dave Matthews

Youve got your bal
lYouve got your chain
Tied to me tight tie me up again
Whos got their claws
In you my friend
Into your heart
Ill beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
And sweet you roll
Lost for you
Im so lost for you
You come crash into me
And I come into you
I come into youIn a boys dream
In a boys dream
Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
Im bare boned and crazy for yo
uWhen you come crash
Into me, baby
And I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream
If Ive gone overboard
Then Im begging you
To forgive meIn my haste
When Im holding you so girl
Close to me
Oh and you come crash
Into me, baby
And I come into you
Hike up your skirt a little more
And show the world to me
Hike up your skirt a little more
And show your world to me
In a boys dream.. in a boys dream
Oh I watch you there
Through the window
And I stare at you
You wear nothing but you
Wear it so well
Tied up and twisted
The way Id like to be
For you, for me, come crash
Into me

Story

Bukas post ko yung story na naisip ko. Inaantok na kasi ako eh.. Hehe..

MY FEET HURTS

:c 'nuf said. sob sob sob.

i don't want to write ANYTHING cuz my feet hurts.

sib sob sob. :'c

Ugh

I can't sleep. Must be the last line you told me this morning.

You asked me: "how will you prove to me that ur real and ur not fakin."

Fakin wat?

Emotions?

I won't benefit from staying and being kind to you.
Tas bakit kelangan kong sabihin sa yo lahat? Para ano? Para saktan ka?
Ako nga yung nasasaktan ngayon hindi naman ikaw eh.
Hell. Why'd you even ask that question? You just keep dragging me back to you.

You know I'm tied to you.
I pray hard to God every ight to give me strength to leave you
Or something that would happen in our lives para magkahiwalay na ung paths natin.
Para hindi na tayo nahihirapan.

I'm happy for the times that I'm nummmmbbbbb and devoid of feelings.
Apathy ends everything.

Pero isang line lang galing sa 'yo... Nawawala lahat bigla.
Balik lahat ng emosyon.

I wish I'd always be numb until the right time comes.

Hayyy......................
Damn seredipity.
Damn destiny.

Sleep

I plan to sleep all afternoon because my head really hurts. I slept at around 8:30 pm and woke up at 12:40 am this morning. I need to cook for 8 people this morning since they're gonna use our house as pitstop from their trip to Pangasinan. It's a sort-of compromise or bargain for the driver's effort to drop off my mom from Balayan. So what did my mom do in Balayan? Weelll.... She was sick right? Well, apparently yesterday she was feeling a-ok and decided to go with my aunt to visit my auntie's in-law's house in Balayan. I can't hold her back, so ayun she went. She's not sick na naman, so I guess it's not appendicitis (like those freaking doctors in Perpetual suspected) but I guess she had a case of over-production of acid mixed with hysteria and paranoia. You know my mom... Ever since she enrolled to that Medical Transcription class in Perpetual, she became this paranoid middle aged woman. She learned all this diseases kasi so whenever she feels something funny inside of her, consult siya agad sa Medical Dictionary, titingnan ang symptoms at kapag nag-match... Voila! Alam na niya yung sakit niya even if the symptoms are brought by fear and imagination. It's a bit annoying especially to me, an aspiring doctor. Not because you experience this kind of symptom that doesn't mean na yun nga yung sakit mo. Sometimes, my mga sakit na nag-ooverlap yung symptoms, and it's really best to go to the hospital para ma-eliminate yung other possibilities. Pero ayaw makinig sa akin. Hay. She once thought that she has Chlamydia when in fact, she just have UTI. Hay. It's so hard to raise parents these days. Tsk tsk...

E-vents

I just got home from my hell toxic day. I'm gonna give you a quick recap of what happened to me this day.

So this morning..

At 'round 11 am I arrived at Pedro Gil to print a copy of pur thesis proposal.
Sa may Anglo ako nagpaprint always dahil 2 pesos lang per page yung print nila. Kaso, it seems na paubos na yung ink ng printer nila, kaya mukhang xerox copy na yung pinaprint ko. Badtrip. Pero ndi pa yun eh, while I was getting my diskette from my bag, napatingin ako sa may monitor nung "attendant" dun. Lo and behold, ako ay labis na naguluhan, natorete, nawindang at nandiri sa nakita ko.


Ano kaya ang nakita ni Abi??


Poor quality image na porno vid lang naman.. Ayoko ng i-elaborate kung ano yung nakita ko, dahil sa mga konserbatibong tulad ko (ahem, konserbatibo ako kahit pa nabibilang ako sa Bio batch 2006) eh baka ipa-ban niyo pa itong blog ko. Hahahahaha. So much for being clean, unscathed and virginal (eyes). Tas nakita nung mama na nakatingin ako so dali-dali niyang pinatay (oi bakit kaya ako nakatingin?). So akala niyo tapos na yun. Ay dyan kayo maling-mali. Dahil habang pini-print na niya yung mga dokumento ko, aba! Muli niya binuhay ang porno na pinapanood niya. Matagal pa a! Hindi ilang seconds... Minutes! Sleazy computer shop! Kaya kayo na asa may area ng Pedro Gil at Padre Faura, wag kayong magpapaprint doon sa may Anglo! Panget na nga 'yung quality ng printing, may libre pang porn show!

After being baptized sa makamundong bagay, nagtungo ako sa school para i-file ang nakatengga ko ng application for graduation. Napilitan nga akong gamitin yung 2 x 2 na galing sa studio kasi naman, sa sobrang deliquente ko eh ndi ako nakapag-papicture picture. Haha. Ayun. Buti na lang sandali lang yun. Ayun, tas after nun, kinuha ko na yung shirt ng org (tsk tsk, paano ko pa magagamit yun? Last duty ko pa naman na nung enrollment!) Hay, tas nagpunta ako sa Rob para kumain...

So ngayong tanghali...

Sa may Casa Ilongga ako kumain (sa may Robinson's food court) dahil natatakam ako sa crablets. Kaso, walang crablets! Badtrip. Napilitan tuloy akong umorder ng iba. Ok lang naman dahil masarap yung gulay. :) Hehe. So dahil lonely, i'm miss lonely ako, mag-isa lang akong kumain. Huhuhu. Wala naman kasi talaga akong pasok ngayon eh. :( Ayun, tas kalagitnaan ng pag-iyak (joke) at pagkain ko, may mama na may dalang plastic bag ng mga laruan ang nagsalita: "May nakaupo ba dito?" Tas ako naman: "Wala po." Sabay tungo at binilisan ko ang subo ng pagkain. Kesehodang mamualan na ako, nagmadali talaga akong kumain. Hindi kasi applicable sa akin 'yung ever famous quote sa mga food court na: "Share a seat, Win a friend." Pero kahit anong bilis ko mang lumafang, naabutan pa ako nung mama. Magkatapat kaming kumain, ang ulam ata niya kaldereta saka mushroom soup. So naalarma na ako, todo bilis na ako, as in full speed ng pagkain. Ayun. Natapos ako, uminom ng tubig, tuloy layas.

Huhuhuhu. :( Lonely, I'm miss lonely.....!!!

Skip na natin yung pagpunta ko sa Diliman dahil wala namang magandang nangyari dun kung hindi problema. Hay.

Ayun. So nung nakasakay na ako ng jeep pauwi, may nakasabay ako na cute. Hindi super pretty boy, pero swak dun sa type kong guy. Malinis. Tas ang ganda pa ng smile. Hay. Fafa. Chem major ata yun. Hay... :) Fafa chem!!! So ayan, may bagong reason ka na Abi para magpunta lagi sa Diliman. Mang-stalk! Hahahaha!!!!! Loser! Amf! L:-)

Yung nasakyan kong bus pauwi, graba! Muntik na akong atakihin sa puso! Dahil sa sobrang biliis niyang magpatakbo, feeling ko na-break na niya yung sound barrier! Kung may bullet train, siya bullet bus! Grabe talaga. Natatakot na nga ako kasi nag-sslide na yung silya ko everytime na nagbbreak yung driver. Basta ng bilis bilis billlliiiiiiiiiiiis niyang mag-drive! Kaya kayo, kung nagmamadali kayo, sumakay sa PAMANA Express (Byaheng Fairview - Baclaran), matutuklap yung mukha niyo sa bilis ng bus na yun.

Ilang minuto ang nakakalipas...

Noong nakasakay na ako sa jeep papuntang Alabang (galing Baclaran). Aba may warlang babae na nakaupo sa harap. Tawa ng tawa mag-isa tas sumisimangot, basta di mo maintindihan yung mukha niya. Natatawa na nga ako habang pinapanood ko siya sa may side mirror nung jeep eh. Warlang babae, nawawala pala siya. May imemeet ata dito sa may Las Pinas, eh mukhang hindi pa siya nakakapunta dito sa area namin kaya tawag ng tawag siya sa celphone niya. Ayun. Sa may Casimiro pala siya bababa. Lukaret talaga yun. Tawa ng tawa mag-isa! Pati yung katabi niya lalaki, natatawa na sa kanya eh. Hahahaha. Ako din tumawa. Pero may dahilan! Hmm! :D

Ayun. So andito na ako. Pagod na pagod. Manonood siguro ako ng t.v. pagkatapos. Medyo sad din ako kasi may sakit ang aking mama. May suspected appendicitis siya. Hay. Ayaw ngang magpa-confine eh. Tigas ng ulooooo! Hay. Sana naman wag lumala. :( Iiyak talaga ako pag may nanyari sa mami ko. Love ko si mami eh. :( Hay.

Bukas pala may aattendan ako na lecture/seminar sa school. Sponsored ata ng MKule yun... Hay. Sana makapunta ako. Seminar yun for formal and creative writing. So kung matuloy ako 9 - 4 akong asa school tas yun. Hay. Baka sa sunday na ako makapanood ng Goal. :(

Yun muna. Kiss kiss! Mwah!

*Yak, alam niyo bang may Club Mwah? Hahaha.*
*Dec. 15 - Oblation Run sa Diliman, Venue: Academic Oval*

Trip to the doctor

I'm supposed to go the health service to get my eyes checked. Ugh. I need prescriptions na para makabili ako ng contacts. Tas malay niyo nag-improve na pala ang aking 100-300 vision. Hehe. But I'm so lazy pa to take a bath and go to Manila. Uhhhh. I need to meet Ma'am Rags (our ever kulit na thesis adviser) at 1 pm for our "consultation." Wahhhh. I hope she read our thesis proposal na and made some changes na para maayos na namin. :)

Ayun. Tas what else? My mom's really curious about my blog. She wants to read it daw. Nooo! Even if my blogsite is sooo open for everybody's pleasure, it's not to them (my parents!)!!! *Shrieks and faints* There are some things in my life which I really want to keep as a secret. Duh, if she finds out that her unica hija is demented, she might consider bringing me to some shrink. Uhhh. That's not cool. Haha. Besides, I am not harbouring any dark secrets like plans in taking over the world or killing all of 'em! Cuz that's plain sick. :)

Yun. :) Ughhh... I really need to go na. My mom's at my room. I dunno what she's doing there... Uh-ohh...

Am I too conservative for my age?

I read this blog a while ago, link siya bale from cybill's taggie, tas after I read it, insip ko if I'm too conservative for my age. No offense to the author of that blog, but when I was 13 years old (if that's her real age) I don't have a formal boyfriend (duh, I still don't have one 6 years later. Haha) and I don't go on dates that time. I was in Grade 6 ata nun, and hell, make-ups and boys never crossed my mind back then. I was pre-occupied by hmm... lemme think.. Kiddie stuffs like cartoons, friends and studies.

I had my first boyfriend when I was in highschool. But back then, we don't go out much. Duh? Ano un? Eh he lives far far away from me. He was like 3rd year college na ata sa UPLB! Tas I was only 15 that time!! My mom would kill me if I go there always. Gaaaahh!

I'm 19 years old na and official snog count = secret, official full mounty count = 0 (and I'm goddamn proud of it), official ex's = 4. I still think of kiddie stuffs. I still love watching cartoons! I still let my mom bunk with me and when it comes to relationships I still stink! (yebah!) Maybe it's because I haven't found the right one yet.

But who's the right one nga ba?

I thought of it na. I don't mean to impose pero if ever I have the chance to choose eto ung mga requirements:

1. Dapat mahal ako. (But of course, alanganan namang ako lang!)

2. Physically: Clean, neat and sweet-smelling. I don't like long haired men with unshaved beard cuz I ain't lookin for a rabbi. He doesn't have to be so good-looking for their kind have this tendency to play with my feelings. What I want is a decent-looking guy. Nice hair, nice skin and takes a bath at least once everyday.

3. He must be in school if he's within my age range. Tingin mo paano ko siya mapapakilala sa parents ko kung di siya nag-aaral or at least working if he's.. you know.. older than me?

4. Must be loyal and stick to one. Duh? Di naman ako kukuha ng bato na ipukpok ko sa ulo ko no?

5. Must be nice to kids. Because I love kids, dapat siya din. Tas syempre, what if kami yung magkatuluyan tas ayaw niya sa bata, malaking problema yun!

6. Must come from a nice family. Nice ang family ko so dapat nice din yung kanya. Syempre, gusto ko kilala ako ng family niya para formal.

7. Must be nice. Not too nice, pero yung tama lang. Sweet, caring saka understanding. I'm a sucker for sweet guys eh. I want someone who's gonna hold my hand when the going gets tough, someone who's gonna be there lagi. Someone who's not afraid to tell all his friends na: "Hei guys! Si Abi... Girlfriend ko." Hay.

8. Uhh.. Ano pa ba? Responsible. Ayun. Syempre. Ayoko ng batugan! Hehehehe.. :)

9. And lastly, dapat masaya siyang kasama. Alangan namang ako lang yung tumatawa, hindi ba nakakatakot yun?? Baka isipin ng mga tao baliw ako. Tsk tsk!

Iyon. Babaw ba? Or too perfect? I don't know. But if ever I will be in another relationship... Siguro, sobrang bigay na lahat (except katawan). By that time, I'm fully prepared to face the battle. I'm much more emotionally mature. Kaya nga hibernation mode muna ako sa love eh dahil indi pa ko handa. Paano ko nasabi na indi pa ako ready?? I'm still suffering from poor self-image, meaning, I still think that I'm not good for anyone!

With my world right now, hell! Lahat sila may boyfriend (and I mean pati lalaki, boyfriend din! hahahaha. shit. except for justin. hehe. sori.). Pero I don't care! Why would I push myself to commit kung di ko kaya di ba? For as long as I'm enjoying my life, there's nothing wrong with it. Kahit pa may malaking void sa puso ko, so what? I don't even notice that black hole there.

I guess you're gonna ask me: "Aren't you afraid na magtuloy-tuloy yan at baka maging old maid ka?" Oh no, i'm not afraid. At this point, I'm open to any possiblity. Besides, i'm only 19! Hell! I should be much worried with graduation, thesis, movies to watch, and clothes to wear! Yep. God has a plan for everyone of us. Of course, I'll wait, pero kung andyan yung opportunity di ba? Tama ba?

Ayun. I should be thankful pa nga sa mga friends ko na may boyfriends and girlfriends eh. Ala. Nakikita ko sa mga relationships nila kung ano yung dapat kong gawin and what to expect. Lab rats ko sila eh. Nah. I'm happy for all of them dahil yun yung happiness na binigay sa kanila ni Lord. At sa akin?

What are the things that make me happy?

Of course my totally dysfunctional hippie family, my lovestruck committed friends and of course, my bed.

:) Let's celebrate happiness my dear readers. Ako kahit patong patong na yung problems ko, I still believe that they'll all be solved in God's mercy. Hay. :)

Himala!

Hay. I'm still thinking ano kaya yung itetext sa akin ni judith? Duhhhh. Kinakabahan ako ah. Tas I tried calling her tas patay naman yung cell niya. I hope it's not tooooo serious. Sana may favor siyang hihingin. :) I can take favors but not bad news. Baka naman magpapakuha siya sa akin ng form for application for graduation. Hmm. Yung akin nga ma-fill up na. Shit. I just remembered. Ala pa akong ID picture! Tsk tsk. I need to file it up na kasi Friday yung deadline! Tsk tsk, napaka-DQ ko talaga! Bukas talaga after Animal physio lab magpapapicture ako.

Ayun. Tas may special message pala ako for someone.

Ui. Pasok ka na tomorrow. :) I don't know kung may problem ka tas ayaw mong sabihin sa akin. Ayun. Basta if ever you need someone na iyakan (??) at sabihan ng problema, dito lang ako. What are friends por fabor? Haha.

Ayan. Sabi ko dapat ndi ako tatawa for one week eh. Ayun.

Baka pala may kakilala kayo sa Dasma (Cavite) na nangangailangan ng townhouse na uupahan. Meron kasi kaming vacant. Super lapit sa palengke, sa DLSU-Dasma (yung med) saka sa hospital. If anyone's interested, please leave a message and contact number, if possible. :)

This advertisment is powered by: FEDERASYON ng mga UNYON ng ALILA ng KANILANG mga MAGULANG.

For some reason na-realize ko na ang Unyon at Alila ay di puwedeng pagsamahin.... o.-

Change

Feel ko ang magbago.

On a trial basis.
Susubukan kong wag tumawa.
Serious mode for a week.

Tsk tsk

It's 7 am on my clock and it's freaking cold outside.
Napilitan tuloy akong mag-jimjams (pyjamas) last night.
What's up with our weather?
Noong isang linggo, puwedeng magprito ng itlog sa kalye...
Tas ngayon kulang na lang mag-fur coat ako papunta sa bilihan ng tinapay.

Siguro kasi malapit ng mag-christmas.
Yay. Hahaha.

Christmas.
Hmm..

Will the Philippines have the same traditional Noche Buena?
O dahil sa hirap ng buhay, we'll be forced to eat champorado (like Hero Angeles) and
No Ham, Quezo de Bola, kakanin and stuff? (And by we, I mean the majority of the Filipinos).

Inflation rates, political crisis, EVAT.. Ugh.
Eto ba ang regalo sa atin ng ating government?

Sabi nga nila, what matters most eh magkakasama kayo ng mga mahal mo sa buhay.

Duh??

Paano mo makakasama kung ang parents mo ay forced na magtrabaho sa ibang bansa dahil sa
Kakulangan ng mga job offers dito sa atin.

Ugh.

May pasko pa nga kayang nag-iintay sa atin??

Punyeta. Basta, may handa man o wala...
Ang mahalaga....

Malamig!

Wahahaha!

MCATs

Here in the Philippines, aspiring med students need to take NMAT or the National Medical Achievement's Test.

I took one na last year. And my grade is ok naman with the schools that I chose to apply, except for PLM na nag-aask sa students to take the MCATs or Medical College Admissions Test. I want to go to PLM sana kaya I need to take one. Buti na lang, alang need for me to go to Singapore to take one dahil nag-aadminister daw ang PLM ng MCATs. FYI, ang MCATs ay hindi normally na inaadminister dito sa Pinas. The closest country nagbibigay nung test na yun ay SIngapore. Hay.

So what's my point here? After magpaprint ng mga application forms for med school, mag-aaral na ako for MCATs. Sobrang career talaga. I really want to go to PLM. Hay.

Next. I checked College.com website for schools sa USA kung anu-ano yung mga schools sa kanila yung nag-ooffer ng med. So tempting. Tiningnan ko yung sa Brown, Aurburn, Harvard (Shucks) tas nalungkot lang ako. Hay. If I could have a financial aid, I'd love to study med abroad. Hay. Where will I find $2820 or $22 thou +? Grabe. Kung tumama ako sa lotto, mag-aaply talaga ako. Di baleng maubos lahat yung prize money sa pag-aaral. Hay.

Hay. I really would love to study med. Super dream na matawag akong Dr. Abi. I'm gonna do everything just to be one. (That's the spirit gurl! Yeah!) I'm so determined to do what I can to reach my dreams. Hay.

Hay ulit

Ang alam ko lang...

Inaantok pa ako.

Mag-away na kayong lahat.

Basta ako.

Matutulog!

Hay

M still waiting for my thesis partner's email so blog muna ako.

M happy for most of my friends.

Hay.
For some reason, I don't want to be in a relationship.
There are lots and lots of people falling in love everyday.
I mean, look around you.

Mushy thoughts.
Holding hands.
Boquets, gifts.

I should be inspired.
Be jealous of 'em.
And be in a freakin' relationship immediately.

Pero hindi eh.
It scares the hell out of me.

Ewan ko.
I'm afraid that i'll be the same person.
Someone who's afraid to give it all.

Hay.
I really don't know.

I'd rather be alone muna.
Than be with someone na di ko naman mapapangatawanan.

Hay.
I feel so numb.
As in.

I'm not hurt.
No.
Devoid of feelings ako.

Pati yung love ko para kay ex...
Naglaho.
I don't care kung magkamali siyang magtext at sendan ako ng love you.

I've been exposed to many people na inlove.
Too much... Loovvve.... Ugghh......

Commitment....
Uggggggggggh.

What's wrong with meeeeeee. Hay.
The magic's gone.

TOXIC

Uber toxic.

I need to do the following stuffs:

1. File all pending application forms to med schools
2. File application for graduation
3. Thesis! (No need to elaborate)
4. Thesis Updates for MSI (Seriously... They are so sooo demanding)
5. Animal physio! (I need to get 1.0!)

I am so tired thinking of stuffs that I need to do.
Better start 'em all. Allllllllllll........ I wanna screeeeeeeaaaaaaaaammmmmmm!

Bullllshittt!

NO TIME for anything else.

Uber uber uber toxic.

hmp

titiisin kita.

loko ka.
mamimiss mo din ako!

Answer to cy

Hey.

Yeah, I am mushy.
But the guy I love is blind.
I failed to make him see na mahal ko siya.

Am beginning to think and feel na...

Am all out of love for him.
:(

Nakakapagod magmahal.

Erratum

See 2 posts down.

I'm sorry. Maraming namamatay sa maling akala.
Y k'now what I mean.

Another error committed - the time.
I better fix it.

Ugh. I want to get my Pedro Almodovar DVD from abi na.
Not me abi. Abi ciscar.

huhu.. I really wana watch it again.
I watched Nurse Klivia last time on cable.

am soo lucky.
Rare atang mgpalabas yung channel 42 ng french film.

yifee.

Uhh what else?
I just sneezed.

:)

Uh-yeah. I bought Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason yesterday
when I was in dasma para magsubmit ng application sa dlsu

You know how much ko lang nabili?
110 pesoseseses.

Beat that bargain!
Mint condition, no page missing.

I just make hikab.
Ano ngang english sa hikab?

I forgot.
There. Another hikab.

Ala pa ko masyadong sleep.
I kept justin awake yester-night hanggang 2 am sa byahe.

We just talked damn it.
We were so bangag na on the later part tas tawa na kami ng tawa

The reason?
His dad and my hippie parents.

Sinabihan ko nga siya: "You're looking at yourself 10 years from now."
D-O-O-M for him, noooooooooooo!

We slept at around 2ish am na.
Ganun ang normal time ng pagtulog namin pag di kami magkaaway.

Hay. I'm missing him. :(
Maybe he still likes me. He made some errors at nasasabi sa akin yung love you so much.

Force of habit siguro.
Everytime we talked before, laging may love you, mahal kita or love love you.

What if you're given another chance to be with him..
What would you do abi?
Would you go back?

(long pause)

Let's just cross the bridge when we get there.

Ang alam ko, i'm having fun talking about stuffs with him.
May mga bagay akong nalalaman about him.
Tas ganun din siya sa akin.

Bahala na si God sa amin.
If we're gonna be happy as friends, so be it.
I just don't want to think na magiging kami ulit.

For the nth time, kahit nahihirapan ako, kinakaya ko.
Kahit gusto ko ng sabihin na: Baby ko.. mwah mwah. love you baby ko. hug baby...
tangna. kinakalimutan ko na yun.

Ugh

Vellie vellie tired...

Will talk tomorrow.

Ugh

I tried being nice.
I tried being friends with you.
Damn.

And this is how you repay my friendship ha?
By forwarding every message to her?

Tangna.
This means war in any fucking language.

I never told that ur girl stole you from me!
There's a big difference between tinaboy and inagaw!

Bullshittttttt!
Di ako bitch!
Puta talaga.

Magsama kayo.

Di ko kailangan ng panggulo sa buhay ko.

Hay

Hay...

Bit by bit I'm starting to recover from last week's mumbo-jumbo. I stopped blaming myself and I'm finally beginning to 'ccept na we're cut out as friends na lang.

So much for my once again, non-existent love life, wheell. Balik school na naman ako. Puta talaga dahil monday-thursday-wednesday at tuesday lang ang pasok ko.
So? Ang masaklap eh 4-5:30 lang ung monday - thursday ko! Isipin mo ang pagod sa utak kung ano yung gagawin ko the whole day! Pag natapos pa yung thesis work
sa Diliman, mas lalo na! Hay.

Ayun.

So far, ala naman C-O-O-L na nangyayari sa akin today. Boring. Tamad. Di siguro ako papasok mamya. Puta. Sayang pamasahe, e di pa naman official na start yung class.
Tas bibili pa ako ng libro. Echart ata yung kelangan for Animal physio. Ughh..... Physio. Ugh.

Kainis, ayokong ibayad sa bill ko yung pera na bigay ng Dad ko. Pakshet na Sun kasi yan eh. Gusto ko pa namang manood ng sine at bumili ng contact lens. Pakshet talaga yang Sun.
Pakshet. Pakshet. Buti pa ang Globe may unlimited.

Foerever na nga akong Globe unlimitied. Forever na nagtetext ng txtnonstop25 sa 2870. Hahaha. Sulit eh. Lahat ng ka-text ko eh puro Globe. Hay. kaya lagi akong puyat eh.
Sanay na naman ako eh. Wahahaha.

Sana umuwi na yung parents ko. Gusto kong manood ng sine. Gusto kong panoorin yung Chicken Little sa ATC. Wahaha. Maghanap ka na kasi ng boyfriend, abi. Araw-araw may susundo
sa yo, may mag-I iloveyou, may mag-aalala. Hay! Di muna siguro ngayon. Taena. Kagagaling ko nga lang sa iyakan blues eh. Saka na pag ready na ulit ang puso ko.

Ayun.

Tas, ok na pala kme ni ahem-ahem. We're friends na. As in friends na lang talaga, no strings attached, no feelings involved and no bitterness sa aking part. Parang Lucas-Haley ng One Tree
Hill. Kaso nga lang ndi ako kinasal gaya ni Haley. Duh? Ala naman akong "Nathan" na boyfriend e. Haha. :)

Well at least that's ovah... :)

Yup

After posting that post, I'm feeling a wee bit better.
It's like having a strong medicine that you really don't like but you need to take it dahil it'll make you feel better.
Plus, I have a fool-proof plan which will make me definitely better.
Be very very busy this last semester.
I'm gonna eat, drink, breathe stress this sem.
Papaka-toxic sa thesis.
Lamay sa exams.
Gimiks on weekends.

You made me vulnerable to pain.

Andami ko ng pinagdaanan.
Mas masakit pa sa pinagdaanan mo.
Mas masakit pa sa pinagdaanan niya.

I'm not gonna surrender on this fight.

I'm going to stay.
Yes. More than forever.
It's going to kill me, I know.
But only to prove to you that i'm stronger than you thought.

I'm rebuilding my shield.
I'm gonna be a new person.
I'll be strong.

Kaya ko to.
Kakayanin ko to.

Sabi ko nga noon:

"Obsession ba ito o true love? Anak ng tokwang nilagay sa pasibol na munggo! Maghihintay na lang ako... Di naman ako selfish eh. Kahit malaman kong may bagong babae sa buhay mo ok lang. Sapat na ang makakilala ako ng tulad mo... Ang maging kaibigan ka at maramdaman ko ang kiligin at mahulog sa patibong ng pag-ibig."

My thoughts

It's exactly four months since you and I parted ways. I should be happy because I triumphed in making you think that I'm a nobody, that you'd be better off with someone better. But why..? Bakit hindi pa din ako masaya? Despite the fact that I led you in finding the right girl, why am I still hurting this bad?

I pushed you as far away as possible. I always made things up so you would be angry at me. Pero alam mo kung ano yung totoo ha?

I didn't love somebody else when we were still together. There was no other guy but you. You were my life, my all, my everything.
I'd sit on the bus and think about you all the time. Reminiscing how you looked, how you smiled and how you laughed. I loved every part of you.
I loved how you look, dahil para sa akin ikaw yung pinakagwapo, walang dapat baguhin, walang dapat pagandahin. You were perfect thw way you are.

And I? I went to school simple. I didn't like dressing up nor being kikay. I didn't like make-up and I was no makati girl. For short, di ako stand-out beauty. I was a normal and ordinary girl who enjoyed simple pleasures in life.

I didn't like going to bars and partying. I enjoyed the solace of my bedroom, devouring every book, magazine, pamphlet there was in my house. I liked looking on the beauty of ordinary life. I would sit for hours in a bus stop, thinking. I didn't make friends with high-end people, instead, old people in buses who talked about life were my companion. Movies were my past time, and pouring my guts (singing in videoke) out in G-box (Robinson's) were the only things I considered as my "social life."

We're different in every way possible. I liked having a simple life. There's beauty in simplicity yun yung asa isip ko. While you enjoyed going out, club hopping, I enjoyed walks in the park and foreign films with english subtitles.

That's why I pushed you away. Nobody likes a girl with a hippie lifestyle. Hindi ka magiging masaya sa akin.

But I was goddamn wrong.

I never thought somebody would take notice of my existence. I was blinded by my insecurities.

And I was never surprised when you found her. She's everything that I'm not! She's rich, fabolous, and have a glamorous lifestyle. She loves going out, shopping, lahat! Unlike me, she expresses her love for you.

So. Despite everything, bakit nasasaktan pa din ako? Due to regrets maybe.

That if I had just believed that you loved me for who I am, sana...

We'd still be sharing this one sunny day together doing nothing but saying sweet nothings to each other. Watching MTV and laugh at jologs and corny programs. I'd be having dinner at your house, and we'll be spending time with your family and mine on weekends. We're gonna hear mass together. Hold hands. Kiss. Hindi kailangan gumastos. Just be with each other.

Endless thoughts. I'd be spending my whole life wondering. It's enough punishment for me to be in a whirlwind of confusing emotions and forever playback of what if, what if, what if....

I love you so much.

And I may not love somebody for a while.

I am so numb.

Devoid of feelings.

=======================

You asked me: "Wat if I die?"

You know what I'll feel?

One Sweet Day.......

Asar-talo na naman si Abi

Badtrip ka! Panget! Kilala mo kung sino ka! Hmmmmp! Paaaanget!

Random thoughts...

I hate being emotionally attached with somebody tas hindi man lang ma-reciprocate 'yung feeling. Kainis!!!!!!!!!!!!! Erg.

Shake it off abi.

Bakit naman kasi siya pa ang minahal mo?

Bakitttttttt?!!!!!!

Tanga tanga mo talaga.

Madami naman ibang guys dyan.

Bakit yun pang desperado? Yung in-denial na mahal pa din niya yung gf niya?

Bakit siyaaaa paaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Potah.

Uh-oh.

This means one thing: I am longing for a serious commitment with him!

Are you losing your touch abi?

This can't be true!

Ay caramba!!!!

Lord, deliver me from evil.

3 days bago bumalik yung girl from Hongkong.

Doon mo malalaman kung ano ka ba talaga sa kanya.

Friend or someone else?

Pottttttaaaaaaa.

Pano kung friend ka lang?

Di ko alam!!!!!

Ayoko ng isipin.

Ang mahalaga...

May 3 days pa kaming dalawa.

Hay.

Kung friend nga lang ako... Siguradong balik lahat sa dati.

Di na naman ako maalala.

Maghanap ka na kasi ng iba eh.

Ayoko!!!!!!

Tang 'nang love.

Pinaglalaruan ako.

Malay mo naman abi.

May November 23 pa....

Baka sakaling maagaw mo pa abi!

Ang sama-sama kooooooooo

Eh siya naman yung excited eh.

Ibig sabihin gusto niya din ako!

Hay.

Bahala na si Lord.

Alam naman niya kung ano yung tama eh.

DI ba??

-Fin-

(Schizo mode si abi.)