Hay

Hay. So bored. I wish I just went to Jeff's condo. Hay. My blockmates are there prolly having fun. But I can't go cuz even if I have money to buy food, transpo, gimik... My mom would definitely kill me if I go without asking permission. I'm dead meat if she sees that I'm not home. Yeah. She still treats me like i'm 9 or 11 years old. I can't go anywhere without asking permission from her and my dad. I can't party legally. I can't have anything alcoholic put into my mouth because i'm not allowed to be drunk. I can't go home extremely late except when I'm doing thesis. Darn it. Some life i'm living. Tomorrow, i'll be 20 years old and for once, I'd like to do something nasty. I'm Miss-too-goody-shoes to everyone. Responsible, nice, ms. good mood... Ugh. They're nice comments about me, but sometimes I want to be this hip, cool teenager. I ain't gonna be young forever (except if they invent an age-reversal machine in the near future), and my point is, I can't party or enjoy my life when I'm already a med student or a doctor. I'm much more focused at that time. Hay. I wish I could be somebody else just once. Experience how it is to have a real and exciting life, even if it it's just for one night. Yup. That's my birthday wish. But it's not possible. I've been so accustomed with all of this, that I'm afraid to go beyond my established norms. I'm not a rebel. Guess I'll be stuck forever wondering how it's like. Ugh. That's my goal for this year. Try something new and know how to make a compromise to parents. V. good. Ugh. But now, I'm still stuck here. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm sick and tired of watching re-runs in cable. ughhh. So bored. bored. bored. bored.

I wonder what the guys are doing at jeff's? Hmm..

I'm really pissed off. Really.